Yo.

I just wistfully asked a customer how it was outside.  She said, “blustery”.  Blustery? Don’t get me wrong, it is blustery but come on.  Who do you think you are?  Winnie the Pooh? We humans just say windy.

heyimjaclyn:

I can not describe how much I loathe getting oil changes. For this reason, I put them off forever. Then, I put them off even longer because I’m embarrassed that I haven’t gotten an oil change in 10,000 miles. Plus, it seems that each place has its own set of social norms that I am completely unsure of.

I used to have the saaaaame problem. (I still do, but I can’t often pass up the chance to quote a movie.) Know what it’s from?

So, earlier I was driving behind a truck with a bumper sticker that said, “Don’t Steal. The government hates competition.”  Kinda stupid, but I was at a red light and I looked over and saw an older lady driving alone squinting to read it.  When she read what it said she seriously open mouth laughed for at least 30 seconds.  Then, she took out a notebook and pen and wrote it down (smiling and chuckling all the while).  I’m sure she is relaying this hilarious bumper sticker to all her old people friends as I type this.  I’ve always thought that bumper stickers were dumb but if they can bring that amount of joy to just one old lady, aren’t they worth it?  I think so.